Sunday, November 29, 2009

tears & cry...

Assalamualaikum n elo...


not being emotional here....or being a drama queen...
just wanna share how is my feeling lately...

the reasons that i easily in tears this week...dunno...just too angry,pissed-off,tension....
too angry until i dunno what to do except for crying...
too piss-off until i think that if i'm not crying i will totally blow out...
too tension until crying is the only solution to ease me...to ease myself....
may be this is my newest mechanism of action to act on this feelings....

dunno...the 1st time i think i showed my tears to others....except to the close ones or accidentally seeing me crying....
pls dun think anything about that...just keep it to yourselves if u ever saw me crying...
seeing me crying & i'm telling u that i'm crying are 2 different things ok...eventhough it's still crying,they are 2 different situations...

1st...about SBK & ERP....
thanks to u...to ur 'lembab' service & processing my form...i had to cancel my plan to go back on this Thursday....had to cancel my intention to present at my aunt's wedding....my last aunt that get married on next Saturday~!!!
it's already more than a week...a standard duration to process the form...but...i asked them since Monday...they kept saying the next day..
finally...on Thursday, i went back again to ask about the ERP letter....they said,"On Tuesday..."..
i was like "WTF~?!!!" (only in my heart...too vulgar to say it outloud)
too angry + pissed off...i just went away from that place...
the thing that making me more angry...my friend that sent the form later than me already there the letter...taking less than a week...
if the form is gone...just say it is gone...dun make some excuses like that...making me a lot more mad...

2nd...yesterday....the car to Bandung...
u already read the previous post,right?quite a story right?
eventhough we finally went to Bandung...but the story behind that...totally making me so mad...
just which part of our pronunciation of "Ganesha di Cibiru" is not understand by the driver?
we already said that "CIBIRU"...but...why the driver still went to "GANESHA di UJUNG BERUNG"?are u have some kind of problem with ur ears, Mr. Driver?
when i heard about that 'minor' mistake, i just went to tears + remembered how my week being so un-...un-...not so right for me....
it's really a suicide...totally suicidal....

3rd...Pertandingan Berbalas Pantun....
yeah...i'm entering pantun,as one of representative of TUAH....
wah~so stressful...coz...all i think...all the pantun that i tried to make don't make sense...not 'special', not 'creative' at all...
with my style in declamation the pantun still upside-down....huhuhu...
Ya ALLAH...please...please give me the strength & passion for this competition...please give me some idea in making the questions...i really need them....
still hv 2 more days before the competition...
wish me all the best~

thinking back all the things had done....
this year...is truly a tearful year for me...
i think that i never cried as much as this year....
with exam...tasks....the expectations from others...situations....

crying....tears....
just let them come out if needed....
u will feel better after that....

XOXO - not "gembeng" or "kememeh" yer....

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