بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم
almost 2 weeks since my last post....
like always...being busy these days with my study, clerking patients, case write-ups, partogram interpretation, fulfilling the log-book tasks...many more i think...
and lately...i rather spend my night sleeping than staying up...and when i wake up in the morning,i will always asking myself the same questions again and again, "what to do today? what will happened today? what to be in the future?"
guess the hard-work during the day making me stressful eh~hehehee....
yup...still hanging on~trying to survive, trying to fit in...
being a medical student is really enjoyable eventhough the life is not as beautiful as before, like the time i stayed in Bandung....
but...Alhamdulillah...i still have the strength to take on the challenge...
hmm....
entering 5th week in O&G means no more silly mistakes, no more excused for anything....
and i already feel the 'wrath' of making that kind of thing...
not begging for any mercy here...just wanna remind my friends & juniors so that they will prepare for this in the future...
i dunno whether i'm doing a right thing or not...but i didn't blame anyone....this is the result of my actions...
on Monday...like always, i came to the ward and there was patient on the bed that i supposed to cover, admitted on midnight...
so...i asked her some questions regarding her conditions & history....
i really intended to do physical examination on her but at that time, she's having contractions (she's actually in latent phase of labor)...so i decided to let her rest for a while and i will come back later to examined her....
then...when i wanna examined her....the professor came & the grand ward round started....
i'm too nervous (like always) and my presentation was really worse...so the 1st 'lecture' begin...then i didn't ask certain questions as confirmation of her previous history...there you go another 'lecture'...the last one, "what's the finding of her obstetrics examination?"...the 5th year who covering the bed with me also didn't do it...so both of us being 'chase away' from the ward round...
'chase away' is not really appropriate i think..."i'm sorry but you two have to leave this ward round...i already told you don't ever dare to present if you don't examined the patient..now go..."
hmm...if we not doing the presentation...there will be another lecture...
that's why i love O&G posting...^^
i leave the round....with unknown feeling...
i dunno why i didn't try to stand for myself & telling the professor what happened actually...
dunno why i just accepted it as a whole...
one of my friend said during the round there's another person also done the same thing (the patient refused to be examined), she just told the reason then being asked why didn't do it this morning and she keep silence but nothing happened to her....
so...what actually happened to me that morning?
and i didn't even had the feeling to cry, even to shed i drop of tears (so Prof. Shahrir was right, he said that i not the one who will easily cry in front of the others or when i'm back at my room when being scolded badly)...this is not the 1st time...there's another time previously and i'm sure there will be more...
the only thing that i thought at that time, "ok...my bad~"
only me leave the round, the 5th year still joining it...i was not as brave as her to join the round after being asked to leave the round...
what to do after that?
hmmm....firstly i stayed i the room in that ward for a while...doing my personal reflection...
then go to the patient again, apologizing to her about the mistake that i made during presenting her case, and she also felt sorry for me because she thought that she didn't give enough info (no her mistake though...it's always my mistake coz not asking really well)
then leave the ward, making my way to the labor room...and my~my~
Alhamdulillah....i got the chance to conduct another delivery that day~making it the 2nd one~yea~~thanks to the kind midwife, offering me whether i wanted to conduct the delivery or not...i was not hoping to do it actually since i didn't tend the patient from the start...
Alhamdulillah...i loose some but i gain something too~^^
ok...
i try to be as strong as i could....
i try to be as confident as i could...
i try to be as competent as i could...
i try to be as knowledgeable as i could....
so friends & juniors....
think before you act....
don't worry, don't be afraid...just prepare yourselves very well OK~
XOXO - ok...ethical issues time...FIGO!!!
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