Saturday, July 31, 2010

*sobs* T^T

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم

Assalamualaikum n elo...

wuhuuhuuuu~~~
what's happening to me this afternoon~?
why i'm like that?
so horrible~~

.: felt so bad....until now :.

dunno what actually happening to me during VIVA~
i was so upset with my own performance~
why~?!!!
why i cannot answer the questions so well~~?!!!
i already prepared for this VIVA....already made some revision on the topics....
but still....


may be...this is one of the test that ALLAH give to me...so i will be more stronger & mature in the future, to handle certain situations....

may be....my revisions were not good enough....were not fully covered all the supposed cases....

may be....i just need a good sleep....

.: sleep~ (Roy Mustang >///<) :.

hope that i manage to get passing mark....
i dun wanna repeat this posting again....i will do more & more revisions so that i will be well prepared when i'm entering 5 th year~^^

nite2~

XOXO - need more food too~^^'''

Friday, July 30, 2010

still doki-doki....

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم

Assalamualaikum n elo...

hahaa~
doki-doki ne...
why~?
1stly....felt not really ready for the next ward round....please~please~hope that the seniors will present the bed tomorrow~^^'''
next...the VIVA was cancelled today...so it's going to be done after the GRAND WARD ROUND~
wahaaa~~become more & more nervous....

huhuuu....
i need my mama now....i need babah too~

hope that everything will be going just fine tomorrow....
insya-Allah....

nothing much happened again today....
just observing the procedures in the operation theater...doing some works, helping the nurses...
dunno why but i was so exhausted...then fell asleep until 9 pm~
managed to get up & continue the folio on HM project....
heheheee....too much of sleeping lately....maybe sign of depression~^^'''

that's all~

XOXO - beautiful soul....

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

short case...log book...VIVA

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم

Assalamualaikum n elo...

wow~
it's almost the end of the 1st posting~
there's still lots of thing to be learned....i really wanna know more about the problem in this posting...wanna meet more mothers & baby~^^

ok...
already done with my short case....
so....?dunno....hope it's going well...eventhough being being scolded 2-3 times...hehee...i really hope that i manage to pass this clinical assessment...^^
waited for almost 2 hours...then suddenly change of examiner (wuhuuu~so scary~)...then waited for almost 15 minutes for my turn...
my tasks?
  • given the date of last menstrual period, calculate the due date + period of ammenorrhea....
  • start examine the patient...from inspection & palpating the pregnant abdomen + present ur findings (to juniors TWP, please learn your Leopold maneuver diligently ok~^^ )
  • discussion of case with examiner....
just wanna share with you the case that i got...this merely a
made-up case ok...not a real one...
i got the situation - "this patient came with contraction every 10 minutes, your diagnosis?"
it's like impulses - "she's in labour..."
"what would like to do?" aaaa....set up CTG for fetal heart rate monitoring & uterine contraction... (my heart goes THUMP!!!~T^T)
"others?" specu.... "WHAT?!!" no...no...vaginal examination to look at os dilatation and effacement, membrane intact or not (doki-doki~T^T)
"os 4cm...your diagnosis?" hmmm...this patient now in active phase of labour....
"so, what are going to do now?" ARM...
"why ARM?" (OMG...induce or augment?!! gamble2....T^T)...augment the labor....
"besides that?" aaaaa....check the liquor whether it's clear or not....
then...finished~wahaaaa~~T^T~~so scary~~dunno whether i passed or not but i'm totally relieved now~^^

to friends who will be sitting the short-case in O&G or long-case in other postings....GAMBATTE~!!!


that's short case story~
now...my log book....hmmm....there's lots of tasks that i need to fill up...
but the most important one...CONDUCT 5 DELIVERIES - checked~!!!
yeah~done with the most crucial one....and this is the most interesting task to be done in O&G~love to do more conducting but i need to give the chance to others who still not completing this task...
maybe i will go to labor room again to conduct more deliveries....hehee...hearing the baby's cries + parents smiles seeing their offspring....that's make me happy to be part of the team to help the process of labour....

.: baby....so cute~ >///< :.

now...
just waiting for VIVA....another assessment in this clinical year....
it's more or less like a session to test our knowledge on what we already learn in this posting....
hope that i managed to answer all the questions tomorrow~
this is for my continuous assessment...i really need to pass this one to pass this posting (actually...all 3 components - clinical, continuous, and PPD...hope i pass all these components)~
hope that i manage to speak & answer fluently...

Alhamdulillah...
my short-case going well (even though i dunno the result but i felt relieve...i felt that i already done my best...)
already completed conduction of 5 deliveries...Alhamdulillah that the mothers & babies are all ok~^^
VIVA...insya-Allah...will going to be fine too~^^

babah and mama never failed to make me felt better...
hearing their voices are truly like a power booster for me...
i'm really grateful that....i have them as my parents~^^
"just rest well ok..." mama's sweet voice as always...
"always remember ALLAH...don't afraid or scare with EXAM....you only have to be afraid toward ALLAH..." babah's advice was totally giving me impact~

insya-Allah...
everything will be OK2 la~

hope that all of us manage to past this 1st posting....
wish us all the best~and a very best of luck....we really appreciate your prayers....

.: PASS!!! :.

XOXO - doctor-to-be....^^

Sunday, July 25, 2010

E-X-A-M mode...?

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم

Assalamualaikum n elo...

again...
i'm taking way too long to update this blog~huhuuu....
nothing much happened to me this week....
just another busy week...

and Alhamdulillah...my long case write-up already pass-up to the supervisor and i dun know how the paper was....hope that i managed to get ok-ok mark~^^

oh~oh~there's something happened to me~to us~to TWP....
but i rather not to talk about this in now~

maybe later....after the EXAM~~^^

my current condition....


yeah~I NEED HELP~T^T
mama~babah~i really miss u so much~
when it comes to exam moment....i become so much 'home-sick'~
huhuuu...please give me more strength to overcome this~
please~please~please~i hope that i manage to pass this SHORT CASE EXAM....

my progress?
hmmm....just need to cover the Gynecology topics....
huhuuu~hope that what i read will come out in the exam...not 'come out', being ask~
yeah~it's more like running commentary exam...while u examine the patient, you will talk to the examiner + answering his/her questions.....
i hope that i can answer all the questions fluently....

my~my~
i need to prepare myself so well for this~
and...gotta go to the ward tonight....to look whether if there's patient being admit to the bed that i've already assigned to....
huhuhuuu~~another fearful yet exciting ward round to be attend....
but...i really like it~gonna miss those moments....

wish me all the best~
i really need to pass this posting~
i really wanna show that O&G is great~!!!

all the best to friends that having examination~
Insya-Allah...we will pass with flying colors~ >///<

XOXO - another 1 delivery to conduct....please~i really need one more baby to be born on Tuesday~^^

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

my~my~it's almost time!!!

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم

Assalamualaikum n elo...

is it "oh no~!!!" or "hahaa~!!!" i should express now?

hmmm.....
it's almost time~it's already 6 weeks in the 1st posting....
another 2 more weeks to go....
and without further due....i'm having SHORT CASE EXAMINATION next week!!!
yeah~it's NEXT WEEK!!!!

oh no~!!!
i'm afraid that i'm not ready to go for examination...eventhough i'm quite confident with my examination performance....
i'm just afraid that my knowledge in O&G still lacking this & that....
i'm just too afraid that...i'm might have to repeat this posting (no~!!!!please don't~!!!make me pass pretty please~!!!!)
i hope that all thing will go on really well in the examination.....

.: when i'm facing the notes & books.... :.

hahaaa~!!!
good for me....
at least i'm realize that...examination will make me mature....
really? who's know~^^
please ignore this~

ok...
wanna get some sleep...have to wake up again soon to continue my study....

love u~^^

XOXO - KEEP THE FAITH!!!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

BIG NEWS~!!!

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم

Assalamualaikum n elo...

is it really happening now~?!!

i tried to understand every sentence in the news....
is he really leaving KAT-TUN?!!

While working solo in the U.S., KAT-TUN's Akanishi Jin (26) on the 16th made know that he would formally be withdrawing from the group KAT-TUN. Johnny's Jimusho's president Johnny Kitagawa made the announcement. It will be decided officially this fall, after Akanishi completes a 7 city solo tour in the U.S. but, Johnny decided "He is trying to make it in America. At the present time, he will not be returning to the group."

hmmm...
he just wanna concentrate on his solo career for now....
but...then...when i read a few lines after that...

After that he said, "Now he is only thinking of becoming a success in the U.S. We don't want to drag it out for KAT-TUN or the fans." After getting through this fall's U.S. performances, he will formally be withdrawing form the group.

so...
he's really going to leave KAT-TUN....
he's really going to pursue with his solo career...

but....
KAT-TUN will stay as KAT-TUN....

He said, KAT-TUN is not breaking up, the group's name that comes from the first initial of each name, the 'A' rather than have it left out (when Akanishi leaves) will be attached to Kamenashi Kazuya's 'K' to become 'KA'.

nothing more to comment about this issue...
what ever going to happen...i will always support them...
dearest my cutie guys in KAT-TUN...hope your LIVE TOUR will be success & you will stay as the top~
to Akanishi Jin...hope that your solo career will go just fine & you will success too...

the most important thing is...if they're happy, i as their fan will be happy too...
(dun dare to put 'we as fans'...not all fans had the same thought with me, right...>>''')


ok...back to work~^^

XOXO - "you'll be in my heart...."

p/s : full story at KAT-TUN LOVE & also at TOKYOGRAPH

can i~?

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم

Assalamualaikum n elo...

the thing that i love to do lately.....


can i do this all day long today~?!!

huhuuuu....
on second thought....NO WAY~
i have class on 9 a.m. today + i need to finished my case write-up this weekends~!!!!

by the may....
have a nice day today~^^
keep on smiling~

XOXO - tough week....

Thursday, July 15, 2010

hanging on....

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم

Assalamualaikum n elo...

almost 2 weeks since my last post....
like always...being busy these days with my study, clerking patients, case write-ups, partogram interpretation, fulfilling the log-book tasks...many more i think...
and lately...i rather spend my night sleeping than staying up...and when i wake up in the morning,i will always asking myself the same questions again and again, "what to do today? what will happened today? what to be in the future?"
guess the hard-work during the day making me stressful eh~hehehee....

yup...still hanging on~trying to survive, trying to fit in...
being a medical student is really enjoyable eventhough the life is not as beautiful as before, like the time i stayed in Bandung....
but...Alhamdulillah...i still have the strength to take on the challenge...

hmm....
entering 5th week in O&G means no more silly mistakes, no more excused for anything....
and i already feel the 'wrath' of making that kind of thing...
not begging for any mercy here...just wanna remind my friends & juniors so that they will prepare for this in the future...
i dunno whether i'm doing a right thing or not...but i didn't blame anyone....this is the result of my actions...

on Monday...like always, i came to the ward and there was patient on the bed that i supposed to cover, admitted on midnight...
so...i asked her some questions regarding her conditions & history....
i really intended to do physical examination on her but at that time, she's having contractions (she's actually in latent phase of labor)...so i decided to let her rest for a while and i will come back later to examined her....
then...when i wanna examined her....the professor came & the grand ward round started....
i'm too nervous (like always) and my presentation was really worse...so the 1st 'lecture' begin...then i didn't ask certain questions as confirmation of her previous history...there you go another 'lecture'...the last one, "what's the finding of her obstetrics examination?"...the 5th year who covering the bed with me also didn't do it...so both of us being 'chase away' from the ward round...
'chase away' is not really appropriate i think..."i'm sorry but you two have to leave this ward round...i already told you don't ever dare to present if you don't examined the patient..now go..."
hmm...if we not doing the presentation...there will be another lecture...

that's why i love O&G posting...^^

i leave the round....with unknown feeling...
i dunno why i didn't try to stand for myself & telling the professor what happened actually...
dunno why i just accepted it as a whole...
one of my friend said during the round there's another person also done the same thing (the patient refused to be examined), she just told the reason then being asked why didn't do it this morning and she keep silence but nothing happened to her....
so...what actually happened to me that morning?
and i didn't even had the feeling to cry, even to shed i drop of tears (so Prof. Shahrir was right, he said that i not the one who will easily cry in front of the others or when i'm back at my room when being scolded badly)...this is not the 1st time...there's another time previously and i'm sure there will be more...
the only thing that i thought at that time, "ok...my bad~"
only me leave the round, the 5th year still joining it...i was not as brave as her to join the round after being asked to leave the round...

what to do after that?
hmmm....firstly i stayed i the room in that ward for a while...doing my personal reflection...
then go to the patient again, apologizing to her about the mistake that i made during presenting her case, and she also felt sorry for me because she thought that she didn't give enough info (no her mistake though...it's always my mistake coz not asking really well)
then leave the ward, making my way to the labor room...and my~my~
Alhamdulillah....i got the chance to conduct another delivery that day~making it the 2nd one~yea~~thanks to the kind midwife, offering me whether i wanted to conduct the delivery or not...i was not hoping to do it actually since i didn't tend the patient from the start...
Alhamdulillah...i loose some but i gain something too~^^

ok...
i try to be as strong as i could....
i try to be as confident as i could...
i try to be as competent as i could...
i try to be as knowledgeable as i could....

so friends & juniors....
think before you act....
don't worry, don't be afraid...just prepare yourselves very well OK~

XOXO - ok...ethical issues time...FIGO!!!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

hehee~^^

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم

Assalamualaikum n elo...

almost midnight~
before it's too late...i really wanna wish this to someone special, not only for me but to lots of people out there...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AKANISHI JIN
hope that you will always success in everything you done...& get what you really want...
we as your fans will support you~^^

ok...
that's all...
wanna get some rest for tomorrow~^^

XOXO - GRAND WARD ROUND~

what happened?!!!

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم

Assalamualaikum n elo...

4-0?!!
that's quite a shock for me~!!!
i didn't expect Argentina will lose to Germany that much!!!
what happened actually~?!!

i'd been watching Argentina playing (eventhough just recap) from the beginning...
they played very well in the previous matches...
but why tonight?!! what happened actually?!!

poor Icak...
she's a big fan of Argentina (i'm a fan too~^^), she looked so depressed just now...
watching how her fav team turned out to be like that....she didn't watch the match until end....too depressed to watch until the end...

as for me...
i stayed there...watching till the end of the match....
quite disappointed actually...for how many time i dunno....
1st Italy...almost cried watching them fail to move to the next round....
then Portugal...nothing much to expect from their last match...
then last night i'm not a Brazil's team fan but i'm hoping they win yesterday's match but in the end....a sad ending...
tonight...Argentina~ T^T
bravo to the Führer for well-played match...i'm still piss-off that you beat Argentina...

now...
i really hope that Spain will move to the next round...i wanna watch this match but...it just so late, and i can assure you that i'm the only girl that will be there...
like just now (again)...my friends & me were sitting in the middle...the only table in the middle while around us were all guys~

go go SPAIN~beat Paraguay!!!

XOXO - palpitation all the way until the end of the match....

.: cherish your every moment in life...be happy :.